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Planets: 0002

贝塔是第55届A1市选美比赛中,所有评委公认最漂亮的女孩。她有近乎完美的球形身材,富有弹性和光泽的浅蓝色半透明肌肤,眼波流转仿佛双瞳中藏着最广阔的甲烷海洋。她的移动形态也极为优雅,不像其他的星球A居民一般把身体融化一部分然后贴着地表流动*,而是维持着高对称性的球形体态,蹦跳着前行。这样的移动方式难就难在保持平衡,要使得每次落地的部位都是南极点而不是其它地方,才不至于弄乱弄脏衣物和妆容。只有从小受到贵族教育的女孩、或是长大后砸了大把时间金钱进行训练的女性,才能掌握这种技巧。

Beta is recognized as the most beautiful girl in the 55th A1 City Beauty Contest. She has an almost perfectly spherical shape and highly elastic, translucent, and radiant skin of light blue color. Inside her eyes hides the vastest sea of methane. Her gait is also super elegant: unlike most of the Planet A habitants who melt a part of their bodies to flow on the ground*, she keeps her highly symmetric configuration and bounces forward. The most difficult part of such a motion style is to keep balance and make sure that only the South pole of the body touches the ground every time, to avoid messing up the outfit and the makeup. Only those who go to an exclusive school, and those who spend a huge amount of money and time for training, can master this skill.

A星球以高对称性为美,所以流行各种高热量食谱;医院里随处可见因为吃太多而导致胃胀、急性胃扩张、脂肪肝、高血压高血脂高血糖、冠心病的病人。许多医生对此痛心疾首,也有许多医生埋头著书《健康增重的五个原则》、《你的最后一本增重食谱:素食主义者专用》、《三十天三十斤》等。读者增重与否不好说,但医生的钱包却是确实增重了的。

The pursuit for high symmetry leads to a mania for high-calorie diets. Hospitals are constantly filled with people who eat their way to bloating, acute gastric dilatation, fatty liver, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, hyperlipidemia, and coronary heart diseases. Many doctors appeal against this, yet many others wrote books like Five Principles for Healthy Weight Gains, Your Last Diet! The Vegetarians' Weight-Gain Plan, or 30 kg in 30 Days. It's hard to say whether the readers have gained weight by reading these, but the doctors' purses have certainly gained weight from them.

赚钱更多的则是健身专家们。高热量容易造成橄榄球形身材,所以为了获得更高的对称性,星球A的居民需要进行有针对性的锻炼。比如为了使脸变得够大,每天就要尽可能多地咀嚼坚果以锻炼两颊肌肉。专家们对此有深入的研究,比如应该选择哪里产出的什么坚果、用哪颗牙齿来嚼、嚼几下休息多长时间等等,他们的示范视频在A星球的网络上随处可见。也有个别健身博主标新立异,认为嚼螃蟹壳比坚果更有效。

Those who make more money are the fitness experts. High-calorie diets lead to rugby-shaped bodies. To gain higher symmetries, people need targeted workouts. For example, to enlarge one's face, he/she should chew as many nuts as possible, to train the cheek muscles. Experts have conducted many kinds of experiments and simulations on which nuts to choose from, which teeth should be used for the chewing, how many times one should chew before taking a break and how long the break should be, etc. Their demonstration videos are everywhere on the Internet. Some other unconventional bloggers also recommend chewing crab shells instead.

食谱和健身终究是有局限性的。实在无法再进一步改善的身材,就要靠服装搭配和妆容来弥补。长裙还是短裙,阔腿裤还是紧身裤,几何花纹还是动物花纹,冷色还是暖色,妆容应该在什么位置画什么样的高光暗影,都大有讲究。

However, diets and exercises have their limits. One needs clothing collocation and makeup to make up: Maxi skirts or mini skirts,  culottes or leggings, geometric or animal prints, cold or warm colors, where and how to do the contours ... It's an art. 


*史莱姆的经典移动方式。

*Canonical slime moves.



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